The Handlebar Moustache Song by James Calloway-Brady The Handlebar Moustache Song by James Calloway-Brady
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The Handlebar Moustache Song by James Calloway-Brady

A few months ago, a young man, 11 years of age, emailed me via this web site that he was planning a special event. His name is James Calloway-Brady and he lives in the UK.

“I love the information and pictures on the site. I am 11, but I can’t wait to grow a handlebar moustache when I am old enough to. I think
they look so awesome. I do performance poetry and am writing about the handlebar moustache for a festival next year.”

“I have written the poem, which is called: “My Handlebar Moustache”. I will be performing it live at The Globe Theatre in Hay on Wye on 21st January. I will get someone to video it and I will put it on You Tube, so you can see it.”

James Calloway-Brady performing his winning Handlebar Moustache songHe is quite a star. I told him then I was very interested in hearing about it and the competition just took place. I got an email from him today:

“Dear Eric,
“My performance of “The Handlebar Moustache” is now on Youtube. If you type James Calloway Brady you will see it as Poem 4. I hope you like it. I am pleased to say that I got £50 for my performance, which was great. I had a good time and I learned a lot about performing on stage.

“I hope I will be able to grow my own handlebar moustache when I am older, and join the Handlebar Club myself.

“Best wishes, James.”

He even mentions the Club in the song! This is so exciting!

So, may I introduce to you the one and only James Calloway-Brady performing “My Handlebar Moustache” (sung to the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz).



Lyrics printed here with permission, Copyright James Calloway-Brady 2012

I can’t wait until I’m older,
With my hair way past my shoulder,
And my pockets full of cash.
I’ll know when I make it, coz I wouldn’t have to fake it,
With my Handlebar Moustache.

I could while away the weekends
In the bars and clubs with my friends,
In designer clothes and tache.
Though my friends would need I.D, no-one’s ever gonna ask me
With my Handlebar Moustache.

Oh I could tell you why
The fans wait at my door:
To photogaph my cool moustache once more.
That’s the thing they all adore.

Using wax and gel, and styling,
I’ll look handsome and beguiling,
With a look no man can match.
The Handlebar Club would recruit me
And the Queen would want to meet me
With my Handlebar Moustache.

Though some firms would not employ me
Unless I shave, I’m sorry,
But I wouldn’t need their cash.
I’ll have fortune; I’ll have fame
And everyone will know my name
With my Handlebar Moustache.

Not a toothbrush; not a pencil,
Even though it’s continental:
And you can grow it in a flash.
Something noble; Presidential,
Though it might sound sentimental -
That’s my Handlebar Moustache!

Visit my friends at The Handlebar Club Forum

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