Thank you Ben for your great answers.
1. How long have you had a handlebar moustache, and what is your history with moustaches?
Handlebar 1 1/2 years. Prior I sported a Marine Corps regulation cookie duster, except while on deployment when I grew the tips long and used my unwashed man-funk to add a slight curl. When you only get to shower once a week you have to distract everyone from your smell.