Handlebar Moustache Survey by John Amoss of Georgia, USA
Some great answers by John Amoss. Thanks, John!
1. How long have you had a handlebar moustache, and what is your history with moustaches?
I have had my moustache for 6 months. It’s the first one I have grown since my circa 1978 15 year-old pubescent ‘crustache’ yeesh!
2. What moved you to grow a handlebar moustache? Do any relatives or ancestors have handlebar moustaches?
Well, I taught a class in Spain this summer and I didn’t want to look like the typical guy from the US. It worked as intended- I had numerous tourists come up to me and ask me for directions in crappy Spanish- it was great!
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3. What are some of the reactions of others as you grew your handlebar moustache? What sort of reactions or comments did you get initially from your significant other?
Most folks seemed entertained and some would say trite things like: “Hola, Juan” or “Buon giorno, Luigi”, etc.
4. What are some of the funny or strange comments others have made about your handlebar moustache over time?
Oh, I’ve had several people say that their grandfather had one, which was made me feel ‘old school cool’. Some smart-ass student asked me if that was a rat on my lip. “No A for you” I said alà the Soup Nazi. Yes, there are occasional perks to teaching college.
5. Has having a handlebar moustache had any effects on your personality/behavior, attitude, self-expression, sense of self?
Seriously, I think that I spend more time paying attention to grooming. I now spend about 3-5 minutes mainly combing and waxing instead of rolling out of bed. So, you see, a moustache can teach you a thing or two.
6. What is it in your personality that drew you to growing a handlebar moustache?
I am a dyed-in-the-wool goofball and quite proud of it. To that end, I play the accordion in a 20’s and 30’s band, The Hobohemians: www.thehobohemians.com and the look kinda fits.
7. Have you been in any moustache contests or attended any such gatherings?
Nope, not much opportunity in the southern Appalachian mountains.
8. It takes courage to wear a handlebar moustache. What would you say to those who think you look odd, silly or stupid with it?
If they can’t roll with a stinkin’ moustache, then god help ‘em.
9. What waxes, styling aids or glues to you prefer and why?
I do use Man’s Face Stuff’s Peppery Spruce for the tips. My hair is naturally curly, so I only use wax for the tips to keep the ends “lookin’ sharp”.
10. What do you think a handlebar moustache does for a man?
I think a handlebar looks like a man is smiling, and so, others will often return the gesture. This lends a sense of genuine delight and frivolity to a world that is sometimes drab, homogenized, and ersatz.
11. How attached are you to your handlebar moustache and what would it take for you to cut it off or remove the curls and not grow it back?
Well, I think that mange will be my only worry.
12. Have you accumulated any moustached merchandise, shirts, mugs or other stuff? Include web site addresses if you have them so others can take a look.
No, although I would like a Victorian or Edwardian-era cup with a sterling silver moustache guard. At that point, I will have truly arrived at the apogee of sophistication.
13. Can you recommend some moustache web sites if you know any worth mentioning?
I think this one is great for its practical content and the forum that we are encouraged to participate in. Thanks! Eric.
14. All about color: How closely does your moustache match the color of the hair on your head? How many colors are in your moustache? Pepper’n’Salt? Ginger? A bit of everything? Do you like it? Have you ever dyed it?
My HB mo is a bit redder- a nice dark chestnut color. My top hair is nearly black and seems to get darker with age. However, Portrait of Dorian Gray I am not.
15. What would you like to see on handlebarmoustachelife.com?
Since I am a cheap bastid, I don’t remember seeing any DIY mo wax recipes. I am planning to mix beewax, gum arabic, petroleum jelly, and some scented oil. I’ll experiment, and with Eric’s permission, I will publish my findings.
17. How has having a handlebar moustache affected your love life, dating, and does it interfere with kissing?
My wife is resigned at best and I think I average a kiss a month now- but this is not the only form of affection, mind you
16. What do you do for a living and what impact do you think your handlebar moustache has with customers, coworkers and superiors?
I teach college and am a department head. I think that something like entertaining moustaches goes beyond ‘business’ mode to elevate the mood- a feature which is important during meetings and every-day functions. It also seems to go with the eccentric professor image which I nurture to the fullest.
18. Does your handlebar moustache give you any superpowers?
My moustache has the power to sop up everything in its path: ice cream, clam chowder, beer, you name it!
19. Would you share your location?
Sure, near Dahlonega, Georgia, USA.
20. Please suggest a question you would like to see in this survey, and add your answer to it as well
Q: “After it is shaved, does a handlebar moustache go to heaven?”
A: “Why, son, yes it does, it becomes a wonderous double rainbow that strangely smells of ice cream, clam chowder, and beer.”
Bonus Question by Josh: “Have you ever styled your mustache in a comical manner or specifically for a Halloween costume?”
Not yet. I may become Dali if I can only find a lobster costume…
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