Handlebar Moustache Survey by C44Antelope of Illinois Handlebar Moustache Survey by C44Antelope of Illinois
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Handlebar Moustache Survey by C44Antelope of Illinois

C44Antelope and His Fine Handlebar Moustache

1. How long have you had a handlebar moustache, and what is your history with moustaches?

Had a moustache since my early 20’s. As far as handlebar, this is a relatively new departure for me. One of my friends, a fellow volunteer who is around 70, has a handlebar. He wears it in the “English” style. I asked him how long he had worn one and he said since he graduated from high school. 50+ years, that’s more than just a fad. Anyway, I styled it a few times in the past. Then a few months ago, I read a piece on HML and thought “I’ve got glue sticks, let’s give ‘er a shot.”

2. What moved you to grow a handlebar moustache? Do any relatives or ancestors have handlebar moustaches?

Not sure what moved me to do it, perhaps because I knew I’d likely never have a “Duck Dynasty” type beard. As far as family I have never seen a relative, either in person, or in a photo, with a handlebar. And that’s great. Now I have something that sets me apart from the rest of the family. I’m the crazy nephew-cousin-uncle with the handlebar moustache.

surveypicC44Antelopetrent1-3753. What are some of the reactions of others as you grew your handlebar moustache? What sort of reactions or comments did you get initially from your significant other?

I’ve had generally positive reactions…

I was out with my wife & an old high school friend walked up to us, he has a full beard. He pointed & said “cool”, then something about how we surely would’ve had more success with the ladies back in high school if we’d been able to grow facial hair “like this” back then. Then he turned to my wife and asked “But what do you think of it?” I had never asked my lovely wife what she thought. Without hesitation she said “I like it,” with a big smile on her face. What a nice surprise.

4. What are some of the funny or strange comments others have made about your handlebar moustache over time?

My brother, upon seeing it for the first time, asked if I was going to tie Sweet Nell to the train tracks. I replied that I didn’t have time because I had go run the Johnson’s off their ranch, the mortgage was due, “bu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!”

5. Has having a handlebar moustache had any effects on your personality/behavior, attitude, self-expression, sense of self?

No real change. At times I would have been a ham in the past, and in those circumstances I’m still a ham. At other times I would be reserved, and I’m still reserved in such settings. I haven’t been tempted to not style it when going to business meetings or what have you. Although that kind of surprises me, in retrospect.

6. What is it in your personality that drew you to growing a handlebar moustache?

I have always wanted to be a little different. I like a little whimsy in my life – we all take life too seriously sometimes. And, I’ve always liked older styles… hats, music, movies, etc. The handlebar moustache fits that perfectly.

7. Have you been in any moustache contests or attended any such gatherings?

No, and don’t foresee it in the future.

8. It takes courage to wear a handlebar moustache. What would you say to those who think you look odd, silly or stupid with it?

Odd: I just can’t imagine too many people saying that these days – not in a world that has people stretching their ear lobes and piercing uncomfortable places. I’m thinking a handlebar moustache shouldn’t look “odd” to anyone. Silly: I’m already a goofball. What do I care? Stupid: I think I’d probably not reply at all. If it were someone just joking around I might joke back, but I’m not wearing a handlebar for someone else’s approval. Other than my wife, I really don’t care much what people think of the way it looks.

9. What waxes, styling aids or glues to you prefer and why?

I normally use the Got2B. I use glue stick for the tips, and if I need to re-touch throughout the day. BTW – the Got2B they sell here looks more clear than the example shown in your video. I presume the appearance has something to do with your arid locale in comparison to mine which is a little more humid.

10. What do you think a handlebar moustache does for a man?

It’s an outlet for a man to show off some old-timey style and/or individualism. It’s also a much less expensive “mid-life crisis” than buying a Corvette.

11. How attached are you to your handlebar moustache and what would it take for you to cut it off or remove the curls and not grow it back?

Right now, I’m very attached. I don’t foresee any reason to shave it off. I’m not famous. I can’t imagine anyone giving me a plug nickel to shave. The old story about the guys in ZZ Top being offered money to shave their beards by Gillette comes to mind.

12. Have you accumulated any moustached merchandise, shirts, mugs or other stuff?

I have a Christmas coffee cup that says “Staching through the snow” on it. My co-workers got me a “moustache journal” for Christmas, too.

13. Can you recommend some other moustache web sites?

This one is very nicely done. I would also recommend Handlebarclub.co.uk which has a forum and is the official internet presence of the famed Handlebar Club of London. I know the HML webmaster Eric is a frequent poster there as well.

14. All about color: How closely does your moustache match the color of the hair on your head? How many colors are in your moustache? Do you like its color? Have you ever dyed it?

Color is salt and pepper. My hair is salt and pepper. The color is fine. When it all goes white, maybe I’ll pass for the Monopoly Man.

15. What would you like to see on handlebarmoustachelife.com?

HML should sponsor (on line, of course) Rollie Fingers Night. Here’s the idea. Pick a night/day in early June when baseball season is going and all Major League teams are still mathematically viable. Encourage all red-blooded North American males to go to a baseball game, sporting their handlebar moustache. Any level of ball is OK from Little League to the Major Leagues. The attendee will have a digital photo taken of himself at said ball game and it will be submitted to HML. Then every guy that submits a photo will also make a donation (denomination of their own choosing) to their local Little League or Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, Big Brothers Big Sisters or Boys and Girls Clubs, whatever they feel is a worthy kids’ program in their location… (Of course, if Rollie isn’t the role model you want to use, then how about King Kelly or Cap Anson? For that matter, there’s most of the roster from the 1885 Chicago White Stockings (now known as the Cubs). But, Rollie IS known to most baseball fans alive today and unlike Anson, he never shaved his moustache off. [of course a living celebrity might not appreciate the “endorsement” without some financial incentive]

16. How has having a handlebar moustache affected your love life, dating, and does it interfere with kissing?

Has not made a difference. My wife isn’t afraid of making her way through the heavy brush on her way to the picnic. (Truth be told, when I’ve had my moustache trimmed short, she’s complained that it was scratchy – uncomfortable. No complaints with the longer moustache hairs.)

17. What do you do for a living and what impact do you think your handlebar moustache has with customers, coworkers and superiors?

I work in a very public business. A non-profit in a small town. However, since it’s a small town, the people who might most take note of the change, already know me. A handlebar moustache isn’t out of character. Others working at the business have not made any rude comments.

18. Does your handlebar moustache give you any superpowers?

I already had my only super power. I tend to be extremely long-winded. “…so on and so on and so forth, no, no, no apothecary.”

19. Eating – neatly – can be a challenge with a larger moustache. Do you have any eating tips, or stories to share? Have you been tempted to remove the HB due to eating issues?

I bought a “Combo” at Gino’s East in Chicago (that’s Italian Beef & Italian Sausage all on the same bun). I couldn’t eat the dang thing. Had to knife and fork it, and even then felt I was a site inappropriate for the public eye. So my big tip, don’t get one of those (even though the thing tasted wonderful).

20. Have you ever styled your mustache in a comical manner or specifically for a Halloween costume?


21. What is your preferred style for your handlebar moustache, and do you do a variety of styles?

I really only use one style. Sort of like Shad Kahn, owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, or Orville Wright but tighter curled points. Someday, maybe we’ll get out to the Wyatt Earp length.

22. Please suggest a question you would like to see in this survey, and add your answer to it as well:

“When you meet someone else with a handlebar moustache do you: 1) have an instant bond with them? Or 2) begin comparing your moustache with theirs in a sort of alpha-male-hirsute king of the mountain? (like two dogs circling each other and growling)”

23. Would you share your location and / or your age?

Age is 44. Perhaps the most corrupt state in the USA, Illinois. Our new state slogan should be “We’ve got more governors in prison than you do.” I live in the Western part of the state. Some great folks in these parts. I really do love our small town, just wish it were in some other state.

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