The Mystical Warrior Power of Beards
“Xegis Solutions had several teams of researchers embedded with these troops to make observations on their combat effectiveness. The results were overwhelming, out of the 50 soldiers with beards, zero were wounded or killed and they had a significantly higher accuracy of fire than the soldiers without beards. The soldiers lacking beards had a higher rate of weapons malfunctions and basically, shit went wrong most of the time.”
WELLLL. That would be great, but not true. The source of this story is ‘The Duffel Blog, ‘an American military news satire organization featuring satirical articles reporting on US military news. It is often described as “the military version of The Onion.” ‘
Read the satirical article here.
And what about the handlebar moustache? Does it bless its owner with any unusual blessings? Hell, yeah, and that’s not satire. lol.
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